Land of Milk and Honey

Satiricus might not be the brightest bulb around but he knows a good proposition when he sees one. He’s with the Opposition on their stand on the budget. But he thinks they should be demanding more. Satiricus knows the government were pikers to raise the exemption to Gy$ 50,000 per month from the Gy$ 5000 it was in 1992. Why did APANU/ KFC limit their demand to Gy$ 100,000? Satiricus was of the firm opinion that Guyanese shouldn’t pay any income tax.

“Yuh right!” Cappo supported Satiricus enthusiastically. “Why me should pay tax? Yuh know how much beer me could but wid dat money?”

“And electricity bills,” chipped in Suresh. “I agree with the people from Linden to protest. We should protest too for electricity at Gy$ 5 a kilowatt.”

“If things bad in Linden, dem should come pan de sugar estate fuh know wha bad!” said Cappo with a wince. “And electricity bill a tek up half me pay.”

“And salaries of everybody should go up!” exclaimed Hari. “Not just policemen, public servants and teachers, like Grain Jah pushing for.”

“I say double every salary in the land,” shouted Kuldeep and raised his beer. Bottles clinked all around.

“What about vacations?” suggested Hari. “When the white man used to rule, they used to get free vacation travel to England.”

“Yeah, but me na want fo go to England,” protested Cappo. ” What about America?” “

OK. The government should send us wherever we want to go!” Suresh received a round of applause for his suggestion.

“And dem should tek all de VAT and throw am in wan vat!” Cappo chortled. “Raam Jhaat Tan seh dah,” he confessed modestly.

“And doan forget dem should fix road and bridge and thing,” contributed Bungi. “Ram Jhaat Tan seh dat too. Me ‘gree wid am.”

Teacher Samad had been listening quietly to the gaff and he asked quietly in the lull, “But where the government will get the money to pay for all these things?”

The table fell deathly quiet for a minute. Then uproar.

“Is the same blasted thing every time!” shouted Suresh. “We planning to make the country flow with milk and honey like APANU/ KFC promise we. And you got to ask stupid questions!” Everyone glared at Samad.

“He sound just like that cruel Ashanee,” complained Cappo. “Why dem gat fuh bring dat up. Da a he job. Leh he find de money.”

“But where he will ‘find’ the money?” Samad wasn’t relenting.

“Well, he could borrow,” suggested Hari. ‘Well, he already borrowing. And APANU/ KFC complaining how we will pay back.” Samad was still speaking softly.

“Maybe Ashanee can beg?” Cappo sounded desperate. “Abee gat nuff friends.”

“My friend, just like God, the rich countries help those who help themselves.” Samad retorted. “They already bailed us out after the PNC left us with more than US$ 2 billion in debt!”

“So why APANU and KFC get we hopes up?” Hari wanted to know.

“Is votes, bai. Votes!” smiled Samad. “The government can only spend what we give it in taxes. No taxes; no freeness!”

“So wha mek Ram Jhaat Tan tell dem Linden people de government a spite them?” Cappo asked.

“Is votes, Bai!” Samad continued ruefully. “Ram Jhaat tan know that if you subsidise Linden electricity, you can’t raise old people pensions.”

“Why abee cyan suck cane and blow whistle de same time?” asked Cappo ruefully.